I now see the blessings in everything that happens to me. This was not always the case. I don’t know if it’s my life experiences, the wisdom that comes with age or an increase in my iman (faith) that has awaken this recognition of the blessings in hardship, or the closing of a door but I like it. And if I am being completely honest, it’s probably a combination of all of the above factors that has contributed to my growth and my desire to lead a life of gratitude.
It took me years to fully grasp how to recognise and be grateful for my blessings. This year more than any other year has demonstrated that there can be a blessing in every moment of pain and disappointment, we just need to be patient.
Like so many others, I learnt the unhealthy practice of putting so much energy into focusing on my failures and setbacks. However, fortunately for me, I am now well into my journey to unlearn this detrimental practice and to retrain myself to putting the same level energy into recognising my blessings.
It’s easy to say that I believe everything happens for a reason. But there is nothing more affirming or humbling than when GOD shows you why he chose to close a door and opens an even better door that you couldn’t or didn’t even envision for yourself.
This has happened to me on so many occasions, both in my personal and professional life.
One example of this is, when I applied for a position which I thought I was perfect for. I notified the headteacher of my interest in the role and requested to be kept in mind when the opportunity arises.
However I was never notified and to make things worse, a decision was made to give the position to an external candidate who had the experience but did not originally apply for the post. I bet you are wondering why? One word …… money!
I was told it was a strategic decision and although I understood the headteacher’s reasoning, it hurt, I felt unappreciated and demoralised. I started to question my input and my value to that school and began questioning my trust in leadership.
What does one do when you are passed over for a role or promotion? Especially when it’s not because you are not the right person for the job but it’s about organisational need. How does one reconcile with that?
It took me a while to accept that when what I planned and dreamed for myself does not materialise, it must be a blessing. This was not an easy acceptance but it was necessary for growth.
And as I observed the chaos faced by the person who got the job I wanted, I thanked GOD for saving me from all the drama and headaches. Til this day, if anyone I know fails to secure a role, I tell them that it was not meant for you and you are meant to do something better or different.
We all know the life of a leader is rewarding but also very challenging. Research shows that the challenges are greater for Black female leaders because we have to navigate systematic issues that other colleagues don’t have to contend with.
This has meant focusing more on my blessings. A family that loves me dearly and support systems that hold me up when the system is trying to keep me down.
I feel blessed to have celebrated 23 years of a marriage filled with love, compassion and companionship. I now see the blessings of triumph over testing times…..Alhamdulilah (thank GOD)! I pray that GOD continues to grant us to be each other’s imperfect garment, that protects and beautifies our marriage and family. Amen!
So when my life is not going as planned, I try to look for the blessing in the adversity. The blessing could be:
1. the possibility of being of service to others by using my experience to empower or advocate for someone else. This happens so often!
2. the push I needed to change paths and find my true purpose.
3. GOD’s way of protecting me from something harmful that I cannot see.
Life throws enough curve balls at me to practice seeing the blessings in everything that happens to me and it is an unlearning and relearning I hope to continue to do in both my professional and personal life.
Sheekadayda 